"Writing is the most private act that exists. Some people say sex is the most private, but even for that you need a partner. Writing is as private as it gets" - Jim Merod, a professor at Soka University

Wow...this update comes after ages of neglecting LJ. But before you blame it all on my laziness, let me tell what actually went wrong. I normally have the option to automatically log in to LJ, because I cant really remember my password after the LJ admin changed it to some bizzare combination of alphabets and numbers. As you can see, I have finally rectified it.

I feel like I have missed out on a lot by being MIA for so long. I guess I really do suck at being there for my friends.

My Take the Lead mentee arrives today. I emailed her on Tuesday and she replied last night. I am excited. My last two mentees didnt have much spark in them, I think this one and me have more of a connection (and even for that I have to thank Giovanna more than anyone else). Speaking of Giovanna, I am amazed at how she draws me into topic that I might have never considered passionately. She has this amazing power of making me learn about literally hopeless situations, and then empowering me at the same time. Except I havent really been doing the readings for class so I miss out on half the magic.

I ended up missing Khory's class yesterday. And it was about Kasmir!!!! UGHGHGHG! I am so mad at myself for falling ill. But I simply HAD to climb the mountain, and simply HAD to take the most strenuous route, and I simply HAD to be my obnoxious hyper self all the while. Anyway, the readings were a real eye opener to me. I never knew the Kashmir situation was so complicated, that it wasnt simply about the Kashmiri pundits and the oh-so-terrible Muslims. And I always knew Mufti Mohammed Sayeed and Farooq Abdullah were sketchy. Here's hoping their kids do a better job, though actually the readings never referred to Mufti's daughter (and I cant even remember her name, was it Mehbooba?)....and well, Omar Abdullah..he was always the hearthrob of Indian politics...so much better than that ditzy Rahul Gandhi. Anyway, I am sad to have missed class because I got the impression that the readings really blasted the Pakistani militia and I heard that a particular student was defending Pakistan a great deal. BUMMER BUMMER BUMMER!

So I finally finished reading for Vikas Yadav's class, and I am oh-sooo-excited. Someone will have to put a muzzle on me, for I do not intend to shut up (okay, that is an exaggeration, for one I am still not sure what those people were talking about in the assigned reading). Apparently , this fellow named Atul Kohli feels Korea owes its development to the fact that the Japanese colonized it and that the Japanese did all the dirty (by that read oppressive, authoritarian) work to set path for Korea's state led development after they left. So his point is that states need oppressive, yet economically benevolent regimes to get a prosperous nation. I can soo see my dad nodding (given India's current situation), but I shudder!

FInally, I really need to make some progress on my thesis. Liberia seems to be more complicated than I imagined, but thats because I cant seem to find specific information, not to mention that I just got interested in the country threee months ago!

This entry was so random. I apologise. Oh, and check this out..I designed it..its not the best..but isnt it cool considering I havent used Flash in over 5 years!!

BOTH BRAZIL AND ENGLAND WERE ELIMINATED!

BECKHAM ACTUALLY CRIED :(


ohhh..my heart just broke into tinier pieces!

While I watch Brazil take on the Aussies, I decided to do the world a favour and list the hotties of the soccer world (from whatever little I do follow). So here we go..

Beckham (oh so obviously)


Michael Owen



Kaka



Roque Santa Cruz




Raul



Alberto Gilardino


umm..so this is in no way exhaustive...contributions welcome..oh and there is this italian dude will really silky black hair...cant remember his name, so help me out here! :)


AND FINALLY BRAZIL SCORES!!! ABOUT TIME LOSERS!!


EDIT-- Thierry Henry anyone?

This summer, when I was interviewing some prominent politicians, activists and NGO workers about their views on the Indian womens movement, one of my favorite questions was if they identified with feminism. Around 70% responded negatively, saying that they did not believe in 'bra-burning' and breaking families.

I was reading Susan Bordo's Unbearable Weight the other night, and I came across this...

"...[T]he first act of feminist protest was the 'No More Miss America' demonstration in the August of 1968...[this] was the event that earned 'women's libbers' the reputation of being 'bra-burners'- an epithet many feminists have been trying to shed ever since. In fact, no bras were burned at the demonstration, although there was a large 'Freedom Trash Can' into which were thrown bras, along with girdles, curlers, false eyelashes, wigs, copies of the Ladies Home Journal, Cosmopolitan, Family Circle, etc. The media, sensationalizing the event, and also no doubt influenced by the paradigm of draft-card burning as the act of political resistance par excellence, misreported or invented the burning of the bras. It stuck like crazy glue to popular imagination; indeed, many of my students today still refer to feminists as 'bra-burners'."

I wanted to quote some Judith Butler too, but I think I will have to do that some other time. But this certainly reminds of me of Edward Bernays stunt so that Virginia Slims were emphatically sold all over the country as 'freedom torches' to women, as if they were some sort of feminist victory, when it all really was a publicity gimmick to help the tobacco companies acquire a new market.

Date:	2006-05-01 02:27
Subject:	this weekend in a nutshell
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy
Music:	Guster-Amsterdam

Date:	2006-02-05 15:07
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted

( People of color and j-show )


( An opinion piece and a NYT report discussing Religion: )

You know how they say you should just seize the day, and how 'right now' is the 'right' time...but I cannot help but wonder if any of that is really true?
I mean...I can say with a great deal of certainty, and I am sure a lot of people will agree with me on this, that some times are simply NOT the right times.
So...how do you know? How do you know when you've waited enough? How do you know when the right moment is standing on you? What if it becomes the right moment when you make it so?

Anecdotes would be helpful. And in case you're wondering, this is in relation to a lot of different emotions, and not simply a single case.

Date:	2005-10-29 14:30
Subject:	oh depression...
Security:	Public
Mood:	uncomfortable

( Blasts in Delhi on the eve of Diwali )


( Other sad news, train derails killing over 100 )

Sometimes, I'd rather not read the news. Oh, my defeatist attiude..

Date:	2005-10-27 00:06
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	guilty

Date:	2005-10-26 14:27
Subject:	Word of the Day
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Elvis Costello - accidents will happen

virago \vuh-RAH-go; vuh-RAY-go\, noun:
1. A woman of extraordinary stature, strength, and courage.
2. A woman regarded as loud, scolding, ill-tempered, quarrelsome, or overbearing.

Does anyone else find this amusing?

Date:	2005-10-26 01:30
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold
Music:	zero 7- in the waiting line

My email is sooo messed up right now, its not funny. I didnt get a single email all day, and now my telnet window is going BONK BONK BONK every second or so because all these *NEW* emails are showing up.

I am so tired. I didnt go for dinner before ice hockey practise, and I was hungry all through practise, not to mention how my legs kept shaking, and my feet hurt. And then I came back to a discover that Blanchard closes at midnight now. Thats right folks, no more till 1 am food. DAMN IT!

but in other news, things for the debate tournament are looking promising. too early to announce whats on the cards, but I am really excited. Also, Joey is incredible because she fed me great noodles when I was on the verge of tears because of Blanchard's back towards me. :)

I know a lot of my friends are stressed out right now. What am I talking about, even I am stressed out right now. But you know what ladies (and a few gentlemen?) we'll make it through. All this is happening for a reason, and all you need to do is keep the faith (in yourself, God, your dreams, *insert whatever works for you*)

Date:	2005-10-24 00:45
Subject:	Recent articles on sexism
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious
Music:	(Ministry of Sound)Eric Pydz-Call on Me

Women with Shaved Heads= Better Academic Achievers ?

Women dont deserve high positions in advertising

Pakistani President's insights on women's issues

Harvard President - Women Dont Have the Science Gene

MP's battle sexism in the Commons

EU for insurance equality

Note: Most of these articles are linked to the BBC News site just because the site gives you background links. Also, I am only highlighting a few stories that deal with discrimination against women. But that does not mean there aren't more cases out there. Furthermore, sexism affects both sexes, and propogates unhealthy gender stereotypes.

Date:	2005-10-21 02:48
Subject:	in joey's footsteps
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	The Postal Service- We will become silouhettes

It was really hard for me to narrow this down..but here goes..

( Top 3 men )

( Top 3 women )

Bickering over who will pilot helicopters while people are dying? grow up! are indian soldiers going to throw bombs instead of food??
Comments from the Guardian.

Date:	2005-10-18 04:39
Subject:	I love this!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy

You scored as Goofy. Your alter ego is Goofy! You are fun and great to be around, and you are always willing to help others. You arn't worried about embarrassing yourself, so you are one who is more willing to try new things. </td> Goofy 81% Peter Pan 75% Sleeping Beauty 69% The Beast 56% Ariel 56% Cruella De Ville 50% Donald Duck 44% Cinderella 38% Snow White 38% Pinocchio 25% Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

isnt it great how peter pan came in second?? sometimes i do heart disney a lot! except im more like cruella than donald duck?? ouch!

Date:	2005-10-15 04:54
Subject:	contd..
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy

okay..fire drill is over..except i think it was an alarm...the odd thing was, unlike at MHC, where we all stand at a considerable distance from the building, everyone was still just outside the building..its like umm, if theres a fire drill in the delles, people standing just outside the door facing the parking lot...hmmm.
Also, I found it so strange that no one seemed to make way for this guy in a wheelchair. He had to wait till all the crowd outside got in before he could get in. Somehow I dont believe that would happen at MHC.

Why am I so inclined to compare this school to MHC. Its not MHC, and that is just a good and maybe a bad thing at the same time...

Anyway, continuing with my story. So the Columbia Debate party was really bad. Basically all that people did was play beer pong and talk. Which is okay by some (or most) people's standards. Except I dont like beer pong. And the socialising aspect doesnt work for me either. So most of our team trickles back to the dorms...till it was me, Yani, Carolyn and Scooter. Yani really wanted to dance, and well, we danced, in a corner of the lounge where the party was, but it wasnt working out. The lounge was inside this bar, and well, I didnt like the idea of just dancing in a spot in the bar. There was so many random people there, I mean, I'd rather dance with some debate person that with some person I meet in the bar. So that plan flopped. We walked around, grabbed a slice of pizza. Then we all decided to go to Times Sqaure coz it was only 1:15 at that time. Yani decided against it when we went reached the metro station. So after dropping her back, Carolyn, Scooter and I made our way back to the metro station. However, once we got in, we accidentally stood at the platform for th train going uptown instead of downtown. It was only 15 minutes late when the train going downtown arrived we realised our mistake, and by the time we got to the other side, the train had left. We waited for the next one...and we waited and waited for 45 minutes!! It was insane..and dreadfully painful because in that time 3 trains going uptown passed by. So finally, we got there, all excited by the bright city lights. We walked around, bought pretzels at 3:00 am, passed by some drunk, middle-aged business man who yelled, "Its too late for you young girls to be out..run back home!", and this one sketcy guy comes up to carolyn and says, 'im sorry about my hot dog stand' (to which she replied, with a brushing away gesture 'its okay'), had cheesecake and other yummy desserts, got a milkshake from mcdonalds...
anyway, so we decide to go home after all this. So we get on the train (after this funny minute where scooters metro pass wouldnt swipe through properly no matter what she did). And we just sit on some train that had arrived that was going uptown. we should have checked, because turns out the 116 st we got out on was no where near columbia. we were in harlem. And after walking a couple of blocks, mighty terrified. okay, not that terrified as much as tired and a little scared. We passed a lot of unpleasant people who howled stuff at us. Anyway, we walked and walked, and finally made it back. I know it doesnt sound that exciting here, but it was a lot more dramatic when it was happening.
But at one point, I stopped to wonder about the notion of safety for women in urban cities. Okay, in all honesty, if I was upto such antics in Delhi, I would have most likely gotten raped, and everybody would have blamed it on my imprudent decision to venture out at night. Thankfully, in my last few instances of being late out in the city, or all alone in certain parts after 10, I havent had much trouble. But its not like the fear of getting into trouble ever left me. I hate the fact that I felt insecure, even if my insecurity doesnt only stem from the fact that I am woman, but that in general, certain areas are deemed unsafe. But honestly, some of the remarks I got hear were clearly sexist in how they intended to intimidate me and my friends because we were women. I dont want comments about 'how this is just the kind of world we live in'. I dont want any answers. Or maybe I do. Sometimes I feel like these experiences show me how there is a sense of global sisterhood in the problems we face in our everyday lives. But then keeping in mind the greater threat that I face as a woman in Delhi, maybe women here are better off. I dont wish to paint Delhi as this horrible woman, even though most media reports would have me to believe that. Most media reports claimed how unsafe it was for women to use public transportation like the buses in Delhi. I did it all summer. I survived, and never faced an incident of harassment. But I did get harassed on the streets of New York. But then again, I was out late. But I really hate how the 'being out late' is such a factor in justifying the treatment I get. Just like how women who wear flashy, or revealing outfits are asking for trouble. Uggh. Okay, my thoughts arent coherent anymore. Maybe when I read this again on Saturday, I will be able to make more sense out of my experience.

im writing this from one of the columbia dorms (furnald). check the time of the post ladies (and some gentlemen), its important.

anyway, so as most of you know im here for debate. that part isnt particularly exciting...atleast not till im on the stage arguing my lungs out. but the thing about being in nyc is that i also splurge. the last time i spent a great deal of money on clothes and accessories(as a result of which my finances have never been the same again). since ive been eating like a pig the last few days, my splurge this time was on food. i ate and ate..cheesecakes,

oops
fire drill

update later